These are grumpy times.

We’re worried about the economy, which is getting better, but is still not great.

We’re worried about swine flu and the shortage of the vaccine against it. Besides, I think perhaps I’ve gone too far, brushing my teeth with Purell.

We’re unhappy about the direction our government is taking. In a recent Associated Press-Gfk poll, 56 percent of Americans say the country is headed in the wrong direction.

Only 46 percent of those polled approve of the job President Obama is doing with our economic problems, 45 percent disapprove of his actions in Iraq and 48 percent aren’t happy with what the president is doing in Afghanistan.

About half of those surveyed are happy with Obama’s efforts to reform health care.

Face it, we’re a grumpy nation.

As a veteran grump, it is somewhat affirming, on the one hand, to have so many more people in the same state of disgruntlement as I am, but on the other hand it makes me grumpier. Where have all these other grumps been?

I, on the other hand, have been grumpy my whole life. Not that I am consistently grumpy, mind you. My grumpiness begins when I first get up in the morning, and peaks right before I’ve had my first cup of coffee.

Caffeine moderates it some, but it spikes at different points throughout the day. Many things trigger my fits of grumpiness, like drivers who don’t use their turn signals, or who drive while texting, talking on their cell phones, eating, shaving, applying makeup or painting their toe nails (no really, it actually happened, in California, naturally).

People who call at meal times trying to sell me something make me grumpy. Taxes make me grumpy, although without them, government would grind to a halt (which sounds, on the surface, like not such a bad thing, but probably is).

Waiting in line makes me grumpy, as does bad service in a store or restaurant. People who mistreat other people, especially children, make me grumpy, as do people who mistreat animals.

People who get so upset when their favorite team loses they almost make themselves sick make me grumpy. Which, since I am guilty of the aforementioned sin, means I upset myself.

Not to be outdone by other organizations, grumpy folks have formed their own special interest group — the International Society of Curmudgeons. The ISOC Hall of Fame includes such fictional figures as The Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge, and real folks like Jack Nicholson and Queen Victoria.

Actually the ISOC doesn’t seem to offer much, save for a certificate designating someone as a Licensed Master Curmudgeon. The certificate costs $4, which in itself makes me grumpy.

The good news is, being grumpy actually has been found to be good for you. An Australian study has found being grumpy makes you think more clearly.

Researchers at the University of New South Wales found grumpy people paid closer attention to their surroundings than happy people and were less gullible.

Grumpy people were found less likely to make snap decisions, were less prone to errors in judgment and better able to communicate, especially through writing, which is probably why I didn’t become a brain surgeon or a double-naught spy.

Grumpy people have an improved ability to judge others and have better memories than happy ones, according to the research.

That makes sense. Happy people are just grumpy ones who have forgotten what made them grumpy in the first place.



Mullin is senior writer of the News & Eagle. E-mail him at jmullin@enidnews.com, but be advised, e-mail only makes him more grumpy.