It is come to my attention a beloved American icon has been besmirched, slandered, denigrated, defamed, disparaged and smeared in the most heinous, hateful way.

This pillar of American society has been wronged, defiled and generally slammed, and I, for one, resent it.

This American treasure has made millions of people happy, has brought countless hours of pleasure and generally has made life worth living for many.

I speak, of course, of the noble doughnut.

Like nearly every American, the doughnut’s ancestors likely came from another country. Dutch settlers are credited with bringing doughnuts, called oliebollen, with them when they settled in North America. But some historians credit prehistoric Native Americans for first preparing the tasty pastries.

American Hansen Gregory claimed to have invented the now-ubiquitous ring-shaped doughnut in 1847, while sailing aboard a lime-trading ship at the tender age of 16. Gregory reportedly was unhappy with the doughnuts of the day, in which the center often was raw or just barely cooked. He claimed he first punched a hole in the center of a piece of dough with the ship’s tin pepper box.

Regardless of its origin, doughnuts now are found around the world, from the traditional American kind to Israel’s sufganiyah, South Africa’s koeksuster, India’s vada, Austria’s krapfen, Greece’s loukoumas and the Polish paczki.

The reputation of the noble doughnut recently was befouled by a Florida physician, Dr. Jason Newman, who took it upon himself to warn the public about the dangers of eating certain foods.

He decided to wage a one-man war on obesity through warnings posted on an electronic sign outside the Bay County Health Department. “Sweet Tea Liquid Sugar,” read one warning, “Hamburger Spare Tire,” said another, while a third read “French Fries Thunder Thighs.” He even took on KFC.

But he crossed the line when he picked on doughnuts.

“Doughnuts Diabetes,” read one warning, “Dunkin’ Doughnuts Death,” read another. But the last straw was “America Dies on Dunkin’,” a parody of the Dunkin’ Donuts slogan, “America Runs On Dunkin’.”

Newsom’s bosses at the Florida Health Department told him to discontinue his campaign against doughnuts, and eventually forced him to resign.

Was he wrong? Not about America’s obesity problem. More than two-thirds of Americans are either overweight or obese. The average American is 23 pounds overweight. Obesity-related health spending amounts to $147 billion in this country every year. That figure reflects money spent on ailments like diabetes, heart disease, hypertension and other ailments common in those who are obese.

But are doughnuts to blame? Or burgers, fries, pizza, fried chicken and sugary drinks? No more than weapons are responsible for the nation’s murder rate.

Fattening food doesn’t make us fat, we make us fat.

Doughnuts just sit there in all their sweet, gooey goodness, tempting us. We must resist, no matter how difficult it may be. Whether they are iced, glazed, fried, baked, jelly or cream-filled, loaded with fruit, slathered with chocolate, covered with candy sprinkles or sprinkled with powdered sugar, doughnuts are delicious. Whether they are twists, crullers, fritters, bars, rolls or doughnut holes, they are delectable.

But killers? Not when they are consumed in moderation, if such a thing is possible.

Americans are not good at resisting temptation, as far as our diets are concerned. Americans consume 10 million doughnuts annually. But Canadians are the world’s biggest doughnut lovers, eating three times as many per capita as Americans. That nation’s obesity rate is lower than ours, however, although it is rising like dough.

Losing weight is hard, particularly in our on-the-go society. If you’ve no time to cook, what’s your alternative? To pick up something, of course. And more often than not that “something” is going to be unhealthy.

We all need to watch what we eat and get more exercise. The slogan “America Runs on Dunkin’” is inaccurate. Most of America doesn’t run at all, or stretch, or walk, or bend, or sweat for that matter.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying pizza now and again, or a burger and fries, or a sugar-laden drink. Just don’t make a habit of it.

The same is true of the poor, besmirched doughnut. Have one once in awhile. Or maybe two, or three, or six aargh, I’m sliding down that slippery slope again.

So why is it everything that tastes really, really good is so bad for you? Well, it isn’t necessarily so, it seems. Researchers have found a strong link between consumption of chocolate and lowered blood pressure or improvement in blood flow.

Chocolate has been found to cut the rate of heart-related death in healthy older men and post-menopausal women.

But a new study by a Swedish researcher has found heart attack survivors who eat chocolate twice a week or more are three times less likely to die of heart disease than those who shun the sweet treat.

Chocolate, at least in small amounts, is good for you? Oh happy day. What will dietary researchers find next, pizza makes you smarter, burgers make you sexier or, dare I say it, doughnuts make you healthier.

Not likely, but it never hurts to dream.



Mullin is senior writer of the News & Eagle. E-mail him at jmullin@enidnews.com.