What happened to old-fashioned manners? Think about it.

Good manners are nothing more than doing what is thoughtful for another person and treating them like we would like to be treated. Even that has somewhat gone out of style, as people put themselves before anyone else.

We were taught to say please and thank you from the time we could barely talk. How long has it been since someone said thank you for holding a door open? We were at the symphony one evening and Jim opened the door for a lady. She came through and was polite and thanked him. Then a stream of others came through like Jim was the official doorman and none of them said a word of thanks or showed appreciation. I couldn’t believe their rudeness so I finally said, “You are welcome!”

I guess we women are somewhat to blame for this turn of manners, as we were so set on becoming equal we almost have destroyed our being placed on a pedestal. What started out as trying to be fair and equal has created a monster.

I was raised with the idea women were looked up to and almost placed on a pedestal. Daddy used to have many hired hands working for him. He always told them they could take their shirts off in the fields but when they came around the house and ladies, they had to put their clothes back on. No one came to our table with their shirt off. No one came into the house with a hat on their head. We always are treated with respect and good manners.

I like that idea. It is difficult to change old habits. I still want people to remove their hats in my house and no one comes in my house or to my table without a shirt on. Jim even removes his cap when we get in an elevator. Every day when we go to his pulmonary rehab, we take the elevator to and from the second floor. Even if it is just me in the elevator with him, he removes his cap. I appreciate his thoughtfulness and courtesy. It makes me feel respected.

Our granddaughter, who is busy with two babies, still finds time to write thank-you notes for every gift or things we do for her or those precious great-grandchildren. She is very thoughtful. We appreciate it, and I know it takes time and good manners to do it.

Good manners also extend to the highways. Road rage is nothing more than thinking of self first with no consideration for the others. We almost don’t feel safe on the highways on a dark night for fear someone will drive up beside us and shoot us for nothing. Giving the other person the right-of-way at an intersection is almost unheard of, when we used to be waved on to go first.

Table manners have given way to fast food and eating with our hands. What a joy it is to eat dinner when the table is set properly and beautifully appointed. It just makes any food taste better. Breakfast is the only meal we eat away from the table. It becomes a habit to just eat and run or eat and become a couch potato. It is not necessary to know which fork is used when, but it is important to use a napkin and be courteous and not eat like we are at a trough.

We were treated to a wonderful meal recently prepared by Merry Mary’s Prince Charming, Jerry. We showed a breach of etiquette by overbooking our evening. We left right after the dinner course and ran an errand and came back to their house to enjoy dessert. We felt we showed the height of rudeness by leaving the party early and then coming back, but being the dear friends they are, they understood and forgave us.

This is the meal Jerry created. It was absolutely delicious served over rice. Beautiful seedless green grapes completed the menu and then a wonderful frozen dessert.

Jerry’s Curried Shrimp

2 pounds raw, shelled, peeled and deveined, tailless shrimp

4 tablespoons butter

1 large onion, finely chopped

3 to 5 tablespoons sweet curry powder (depending on your taste)

1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice

one 14 ounce chopped tomatoes

one 14 ounce coconut milk (unsweetened)

1/2 to 1 teaspoon salt



Melt the butter in a large, deep sauce pan and add the onions. Cook on low heat until the onion is transparent. Add the curry powder and continue cooking on low heat for 15 minutes, stirring regularly, as curry forms a paste. Add the lemon juice and stir. Add the tomatoes. Continue cooking another 15 minutes on low heat. Add coconut milk gradually until you are satisfied with the consistency of the curry base. (The shrimp will add some additional liquid). Simmer 15 minutes. When you are ready, bring the curry base to a boil and toss in the shrimp. Stir constantly to ensure the shrimp cooks evenly for about 6 to 8 minutes. Taste for salt. Serve over rice.



Send your comments to: Peggy Goodrich, Food For Thought, P.O. Box 1192, Enid, OK 73702