By Cass Rains, Staff Writer
Enid News and Eagle
ENID —
Since 1974 Youth and Family Services of North Central Oklahoma has offered programs and classes to educate children and parents on better communication and behavior.
“Youth and Family Services has provided parenting classes for several years,” said Executive Director Justin Simmons. “Equipping parents with the tools they need to raise responsible children has been a cornerstone in the foundation of the agency’s mission.”
Working with parents can lead to better results in changing a child’s behavior, he said.
“It is our experience that even when parents are doing the best they can, if we only focus on the child we won’t be very effective in changing negative behaviors in the long run.” Simmons said. “Often, the best way to deal with behavioral problems in children is to first change how the parent or parents respond to the child’s behaviors.
“A counselor may be an expert in studying human behavior, but they only see the child once or maybe just a few times each week. Parents have so many more opportunities to influence their child’s behavior and, really, they should be considered the expert in dealing with their child.”
Simmons said many parents think attending a parenting class is an admission they are “doing things wrong” or they are a “bad parent.”
“The truth is that even the best parents could use some support and new ideas,” he said. “Every child is unique, and parents need to have basic techniques that work for a variety of personalities and situations.”
Youth and Family Services uses a nationally accepted curriculum backed by formal research to show the techniques work. Youth and Family Services uses a technique called “Love and Logic” from Love and Logic Institute.
Simmons said parenting classes are facilitated by Dan Buckley, a licensed professional counselor candidate and a certified Love and Logic facilitator, and Christie Cooper, licensed marriage and family therapist.
The classes are offered nearly every month and are scheduled in weekly two-hour sessions for five to six weeks. Weekend seminars are available periodically.
“‘Love and Logic’ provides simple and easy techniques to help parents have more fun and less stress while raising responsible kids of all ages,” Simmons said. “A very common problem that parents often deal with is arguing and backtalk. ‘Love and Logic’ provides practical and easy-to-use techniques to handle all types of behaviors.”
‘Love and Logic’
“Arguing can drain a parent’s energy and almost always takes control away from the parent,” Simmons said. “It truly does seem that children often argue just out of shear entertainment. To put an end to this draining behavior experiment, repeat the same, loving Love and Logic one-liner, regardless of what your child says.”
Some of those one-liners are “I love you too much to argue,” “I bet it feels that way,” “What did I say?” and “I don’t know. What do you think?”
Simmons said the key to making these techniques work is maintaining a soft, empathetic tone of voice and repeating the same phrase until the child gives up.
“Parents need to practice keeping emotions out of the situation by responding calmly,” he said. “Most importantly, parents need to deliver these responses in a consistent manner with good doses of love and logic.”
Mike Danahy, Youth and Family Services prevention coordinator, teaches a course for youth who are first-time offenders called “It’s My Life.” The curriculum-based, 12-hour program consists of six classes in 2-hour increments throughout a three-week period. One parent of the child also must attend.
Those in the course often are referred through the court system after committing a misdemeanor offense.
He said the “early prevention” program often sees parents who attend with their children saying they learned as much as their child.
“We get pretty good comments from the parents,” Danahy said, noting the kids learn lifelong skills, too. “The things they learn in the class don’t necessarily help them just today, it helps with the rest of their lives.”
Simmons said 90 percent of the children who go through the program do not re-offend.
Getting enrolled
Most classes and services are offered monthly. Special presentations can be arranged for churches, organizations and community groups.
Parenting, Relationship Enhancement and Positive Adolescent Social Skills, or PASS classes, are offered free to the public.
Simmons said most insurance, including Medicaid, covers expenses for child and adolescent social skills development groups and counseling, and financial assistance is available.
To enroll in any of these services, contact the agency at 233-7220.
Youth and Family Services provides several programs and services to address various behavioral, emotional, substance use and relationship issues for children, youth and adults.
For information on any of these services or other programs, go to www.yfsenid.org or contact the agency.
Youth and Family Services is a not-for-profit organization founded in 1974. It receives funding from government contracts, grants, fees-for-service and private donations. Financial assistance is available to all who qualify, and many services are free. Youth and Family Services is a United Way member agency and a member of Oklahoma Association of Youth Services.
